Not Possible
by GayApparel
Summary: RENT. A strange little story involving all of them. Oneshot


Disclaimer: Hmm... I'm guessing these characters aren't mine since they haven't been mine since I started writing fics.

Notes: First and foremost, this is dedicated to the girl who helped me come up with this idea. My girl, Corinna.Thanks for the inpiration, love. Secondly, also dedicated to Shoshana for being my RP partner in the Roger/Maureen "OMG-they're-having-a-baby-together-how-t he-fuck-did-that-happen" storyline. XD Something Corinna and I were talking about sparked this, and it came out funny. I hope you all enjoy reading it, as I had writing it.

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**Not Possible**

Roger closed his eyes for the night, hoping for a semi-peaceful sleep considering his neighbourhood, and the loud sounds that plagued the streets, even at such a late hour. Tossing and turning, the musician had a lot on his mind. He just received news from Maureen that she was indeed carrying his child. What did this mean for him? For them? For the friends that vacated the loft on Eleventh Street, and Avenue B?

Roger opened his eyes and was greeted by a woman. When he finally focused, he realized it was Maureen. "Hey pookie. Are you finally awake?"

Roger rubbed his eyes, and yawned. "How long was I out?"

"Only a few hours. Come on. Come out to the living room. I want you to see something." Maureen took him by the hand, and pulled him off the bed, and he grudgingly trudged out of his bedroom to the living room where everyone seemed to have gathered.

Maureen sat him down on the couch, and smiled. "Roger," she began. "I have something to tell you."

All eyes seem to suddenly fall upon Roger, and he shifted nervously on the couch. "W-what is it?"

"Roger… I'M PREGNANT!" She burst out with dramatically, falling to her knees, and crawled over to his, laying her head in his lap.

"I- I know. You told me earlier. That's nothing new." Roger breathed a sigh of relief thinking that maybe she was going to tell him something was wrong, or that maybe the baby really wasn't his.

Mimi stepped in front of the group, who had gathered in front of him, as if she had been hiding behind it. "Roger," she began. "I have something to tell you." She sounded worried, and stepped closer to him.

"Mimi, what's the matter?" Concern filled his voice, and he took her by the hand.

She bit her lower lip, and started to cry. "Oh, Roger. I'm- I'm pregnant!" She blurted out, and fell to the couch beside him, burying her face into his chest.

Shocked, Roger gingerly put an arm around her shoulder, but the look on his face wasn't exactly a happy one. "You're…" he swallowed the lump that seemed to have gotten caught in the back of his throat. "Pregnant?"

Mimi became hysterical, and started crying. "I'm sorry, Roger. I didn't know how else to tell you."

Roger, had no idea what to say. He stared blankly straight ahead of him, and blinked.

"Are you gonna say anything?" Mimi looked up at him. "Roger?"

"Roger?" Maureen also said, wanting to know what he was thinking; but at the moment, words couldn't, nor wouldn't form on his lips.

Joanne came into the loft at this point, dusting the snow off her coat and hair, and saw the rest of them gathered around Roger. "What's going on?"

The group turned to face her, and she was greeted first by Collins. "Maureen and Mimi are both pregnant with Roger's babies."

Joanne's eyes went wide. "Maureen AND Mimi… Too?" All eyes shot on Joanne.

Roger looked up too, and his mouth dropped. "Y-Y-Y-You… too? What? Wait a minute… I- I don't remember…"

Joanne scoffed. "How could you not remember that night? It was beautiful. It was magical. You told me you loved me…" She bellowed, and flung herself onto the couch opposite Mimi next to Roger.

"Roger, how can this be? I thought you loved me?" Mimi cried; her arms wrapped around him, as if to 'claim' him.

"No," Maureen jumped in. "He said he loved me. I'm the one who gets to be mother to his child, not any of you."

Roger, still in his state of shock, jumped up from the couch, and pulled himself away from the three ladies. "Whoa, whoa, hold on." He threw his hands up, trying to hush the women, and attempt to figure everything out. "How… Who… This makes no sense. It's… none of it's possible."

"But Pookie, it is. I'm having your baby." Maureen chimed as her stomach expanded instantaneously.

"No, I am!" Mimi spat out; ready to tear into any of them who dared to 'steal' her man. Her stomach also suddenly grew as if she were at least six months pregnant.

"Excuse me!" Joanne added. She ballooned just as quickly. "I'M having his baby." And the three women got into each other's face, ready to take down the other.

"Wait, wait, WAIT! Stop fighting! None of this is making ANY sense whatsoever. How can all three of you be pregnant with my babies, when the only person I've ever slept with unprotected was…

"Roger!" A voice is heard from behind Collins. His attention is thwarted toward the voice.

"Who…" Roger watched as Mark emerged from behind the larger-than-himself man. "Mark? What is it?"

"I- I have something to tell you…" Roger shook his head in disbelief. This was NOT possible.

"No.. you… not you too, Mark. It- it can't be. It's not possible." Mark's stomach stretched out, revealing his pregnant status as well.

I don't know how it happened, Roger, but…" Mark grinned mischievously. "It felt _so_ good."

Roger cringed, and looked at Mark in disgust. "You're- you're… No. This is NOT happening. NOT happening. I- I NEVER slept with you, Mark… at least not since before April, and…

"Roger…" A soft, seductive voice called him, and Roger, as well as the rest of them turned around to find a very-much-alive April standing before them.

Roger couldn't believe his eyes. "April? Wha… How? You're… alive? But…"

She sauntered over to him, grinning ever so sexily at him, and planted a long, passionate kiss on his lips, surprising him, though he kissed back. The three women and Mark all scoffed simultaneously, and had fire in their eyes. "I've missed you, Roger."

"I've… missed you too, April." Roger's mouth hung open slightly, still in awe. April's stomach at that point also seemed to inflate.

Mimi cleared her throat as if to get his attention. "I thought you loved me?" Her words ensued a mini-riot amongst the other women. Hair pulling, scratching, and punches flew. Joanne managed to knock down Mimi, and Maureen sucker-punched Joanne, who in turn kicked Maureen in the shin, bringing her down.

"Ladies, ladies, please, STOP fighting. It's not worth it. We're all friends here. It's okay." Angel interrupted; something she was always good at doing, and always for a good cause. "Let's work this out together." Angel's stomach blew up suddenly, and she squealed. "Oh! Now how did…"

Roger shook his head vigorously. "There's NO WAY that's mine."

Angel smiled sweetly at Roger. "Don't worry, honey. Of course it's not yours. It's my baby's." She then kissed Collins, and squeezed him tightly.

Just then, a rapping fell upon the door. Now, who could that be? Benjamin Coffin III burst through the loft door, seemingly in a panic. "Guys, guys… I've got a…" Benny arched a brow at all the pregnant people in the one place, and looked confused. "What the fuck is going on?"

"Roger got everybody pregnant." Collins simply stated.

"No, that's not…"

"Oh, well, that's why I'm here." And like with Joanne, all eyes fell on him.

"What- what do you mean?" Roger furrowed his brow.

"Alison. She…"

"Oh NO! I did NOT touch Alison this time." Roger became very defensive.

"No, that's not it. She- she got me pregnant." By this point, Roger was going nuts trying to fathom how ANY of this was possible.

"The worst part is… I think it may actually be yours, Roger." Benny continued.

"THAT'S IT! I QUIT! I don't know WHAT THE FUCK is going on, but I AM OUT OF HERE!" And just like that, Roger walked out of the loft, leaving behind three pregnant women, and three pregnant men, though only two were 'his'.

As Roger stepped out of the loft, he found himself in a falling into darkness, and with a jolt he suddenly sat up in his bed in a cold sweat, breathing heavily. "What the FUCK was that?"

Mark entered Roger's bedroom with a tray of food, his back turned to Roger. "Good morning. Did you sleep well?"

Roger shook his head. "I had the WEIRDEST dream."

"Oh yeah, what about?" Mark turned around to face Roger revealing his very large stomach. And as expected, the frightened musician screamed his head off…

"Roger, wake up!" Mark shook him hard, jolting him out of a deep sleep. "Roger, you're talking in your sleep again."

Roger's eyes shot open quickly, and sat upright. "Am I awake?" He asked, somewhat hysterical grabbing hold of Mark's arm.

Mark nodded, struggling to pull his arm away from a crazed Roger. "Yes, you're awake. I swear."

Roger released the filmmaker's arm, and relaxed. "Good… good." He settled back down into his pillow, only to pass out once again…


End file.
